I was adopted by a wonderful loving hippie couple in 1979, when I was 3 days old. We will call them C(she/her) and E(he/him). C grew up an empath, people pleaser, to a fault. Her parents were both originally college professors. Her mom notably one of the pioneer career women of the last 100ish years (in accordance with multiple countries), although she was still, incredibly misogynistic (according to current 2021 standards), even though she taught university level English, mentored foreign college students in several countries,in several languages, was the ultimate cookie cutter wife. In fact, my grandfather never even made himself lunch in the approximate 50 years they were married. She was the most intelligent and strong soul, and every woman she raised was independent, currently revelent, and beautifully self assured.

When my grandmother passed, the moment it happened, the remaining women in my family looked at each other and understood we were grieving both, my beloved grandmother and, my grandfather as the person we knew him to be. We were keenly aware of how much my grandmother did, her intelligence, and her as a loving supportive spouse, thus we knew, living without her would prove to be difficult for him.